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I stopped by a local dating advice forum the other day and a bunch of guys were debating whether online dating was useful if you weren’t tall, good looking, white, etc.

But even in the online dating arena, looks aren’t Which is particularly good in my case, because otherwise online dating would be impossible I know online dating can work for guys like me, because *I’VE* made it work, and I don’t really have any natural advantages in the online dating game.

I’ll be the first to point out that I have a lot of inherent DISADVANTAGES when doing online dating. Without game OR looks, you’re going to have a lot of trouble with online dating.

A lot of guys tell me the same thing — that they’ve run experiments where they put out two profiles with the same content, only one of them used their pictures and one of them used a picture of some random good looking guy.

Rather predictably, the better looking guy got better results. Their conclusion was that online dating didn’t work unless they were good looking or tall or white or whatever factor they deemed important. Here’s the thing, though — from a critical thinking perspective, they haven’t really proven ANYTHING by that experiment except that attractive guys are more attractive than less attractive guys.

Every once in a while, I like to poll my readers on the Nerd Love Facebook Page and on Twitter to find out what issues they feel are holding them back when it comes to dating.

And the most common answer is: “I worry that I’m too fat to date.” I’ll be honest: I’m not surprised. According to the Center for Disease Control, 69% of adults 20 years old and over are overweight and 35% are considered obese.

Societal standards of beauty are not only arbitrary but often literally impossible to achieve without Photoshop and make-up and there are assholes out there who feel empowered to mock fat people with impunity.

But being large and in charge doesn’t mean that you’re doomed to a life of being forever alone; in fact, you may find that you have far more options for finding love, sex and happiness than you’d ever believe possible. There are plenty of notable examples out there if you look around. Seth Rogan is no Abercrombie and Fitch model but he’s also happily married.

You’ll also get the odd comment from racists who just want to tell you how much they don’t like your skin.

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